What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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