Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
