well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
