ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
