i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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