Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
