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belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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