just tell him i said nine months
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
