that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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