I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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