So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm passing your future prison.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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