So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
