Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize