In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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