Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
false alarm. still invincible.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
