If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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