Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is it because I queefed?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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