i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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