just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
