physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
