I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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