We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
