Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize