Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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