Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
