Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize