Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
