would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
