I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
