I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize