i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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