Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
