Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
