that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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