i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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