His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
