One girl and one boy is just not enough.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
