Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
