Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
