she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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