I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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