i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
