I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
