Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
