i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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