So drunk its hurt
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
