he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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