just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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