Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
