Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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