i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
