I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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