the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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