He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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