i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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