I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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