My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
