Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize