I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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